How to Vet as a s-Type
The Vetting & Red flags Series, Post 1 for s-Types
Submission is sacred.
It’s not a service to be taken lightly or a vulnerability to be exploited.
If you are a submissive, baby girl, little, pet, slave, or service-oriented partner, or exploring what any of that means, then vetting is your first act of self-protection. It is how you preserve your autonomy before it is intentionally offered in a negotiated dynamic.
You are not just looking for a Dominant.
You are looking for someone emotionally and ethically prepared to lead.
💡 What to Look For in a D-Type
Integrity: They follow through on what they say. Their actions match their words.
Self-control: They do not use dominance as an outlet for anger, pain, or ego.
Emotional intelligence: They can receive feedback without deflecting, punishing, or withdrawing.
Relational safety: They create space where your voice, needs, and limits are heard and respected.
Depth: They understand more than protocols or punishments. They have a philosophy behind their dominance, and it includes you as a whole person.
💬 Questions to Ask a Potential D-Type
How do you define dominance?
What do you expect from a submissive?
How do you handle conflict or emotional breakdowns during a dynamic?
What is your aftercare style, and what do you need from your submissive?
What are your growth edges as a Dominant?
Who mentored you or shaped your views on D/s?
How do you structure communication and feedback in your dynamics?
You do not need to ask all of these at once. But asking none of them is rarely a good sign.
🛠 Tips for Vetting with Intention
Observe behavior, not just language. Anyone can talk like a Dom. The real question is how they handle tension, boundaries, and your autonomy.
Take your time. Submission is powerful. Do not rush to offer what has not been earned through care, alignment, and trust.
Do not ignore your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. You do not owe anyone obedience just because they use a title.
Clarify your own needs. Vetting is not just about screening them. It is about learning whether what they offer matches what you need.
Vetting is not weakness. It is not topping from the bottom.
It is wisdom. It is protection. It is preparation for surrender.
You are not less submissive for asking questions.
You are a whole person, not a role.