How to Vet as a D-Type
The Vetting & Red flags Series, Post 3 for D-Types
Dominance is not just about holding power.
It is about holding space, holding standards, and holding yourself accountable.
If you are a D-type seeking a submissive, baby girl, service partner, or someone to share power exchange with, then vetting is how you protect your integrity. It is also how you prevent recreating toxic dynamics rooted in codependency, fantasy-chasing, or unearned submission.
This post is not about filtering for the most obedient.
It is about choosing someone aligned with your leadership and capable of co-creating a healthy dynamic.
💡 What to Look For in a Potential s-Type
Self-awareness: They understand their boundaries, desires, triggers, and needs.
Emotional maturity: They can communicate openly, handle feedback, and navigate conflict.
Relational capacity: They are not seeking escape, rescue, or romanticized control.
Consent literacy: They know the difference between consensual submission and self-abandonment.
Curiosity and compatibility: They ask thoughtful questions, engage with intention, and want to understand how you lead.
💬 Questions to Ask a Potential s-Type
What does submission mean to you?
What kind of structure or rituals make you feel supported?
What are your limits and boundaries?
How do you prefer to receive correction or feedback?
What are your past experiences with D/s or power exchange?
What are you hoping to explore or build through this dynamic?
You are not interrogating them. You are getting to know how they move through power, service, and vulnerability.
🛠Tips for Vetting with Intention
Take your time. Rushing invites projection. Learn who they are when they are not trying to impress you.
Observe how they handle boundaries. Do they pressure you for attention or quick decisions? Do they escalate intimacy without discussion?
Watch how they treat themselves. Someone who constantly self-erases or romanticizes suffering may be looking to reenact harm, not heal it.
Name your leadership style. The right s-type will be drawn to your clarity, not just your presence.
You are not just choosing someone to serve you.
You are choosing someone to entrust with your leadership, your care, and your influence.
Lead with discernment.
Vet with integrity.
Build with intention.